I don't know why I am doing photography again, only that I have to. There do seem to be things in life over which we have little or no control; some of these things are difficult, some are wondrous, and some are a combination of those colors. Photography, for me, has been the latter.
There have been other things over which I have had no control - relationships, passions, events - and I have lived long enough to discern an ebb and flow pattern to these things. Even the passions for one or another activity come and go, wax and wane, according to some unknown directive. What place will photography have in my little tapestry? I don't know, and therefore try to cherish it knowing it could be taken away.
For now, though, I have been able to cut away much of the dross of living to make room for photography. I want to give myself, and it, space. To see where we will go. In a sense, photography gives me a structure in which to explore with freedom, to follow delicate inner prompts without the deadly cacophony of shoulds, without even knowing or needing to know why. For instance, I assumed I would do social commentary, angry images of destruction of our planet, of abuse,of ugliness. After all, have not friends embarrassedly mumbled something about my being a tad, er, intense, a bit heavy? But that's not what is coming forth at all. The only way I can describe what is happening is joy; the joy of going out and just looking, the joy of choosing how to construct an image from all the things there are to see, the joy of the beauty and mystery of this creation we are in. And I am moved to communicate all this, unexpected as it is.
I have been using a digital Olympus and Photoshop. I owe much to my son Morgan for his patience and guidance in the cyberworld; it was not my first choice, but a dirt cellar does not a good darkroom make. It then took a while to allow myself to play in Photoshop, as I became confused by my own should nots, eventually seeing that there are no shoulds here either, just what wants to happen. I discovered another pleasure in the process of matting and framing. Melissa, of Bayberry Designs in Windsor, who has most of my framed photos hanging or available in her shop, is teaching me how the presentation of the image is yet another layer in this fun-i-business.
I am not sure what's next. Only that is must be fun. For this discovery I owe much to my former canine companion, Fred, who tried his level best to get me to pretend I was a carefree dog as often as was possible.
Here's to you, Fred.